I have always wondered why black people cannot just get over slavery. Seriously, it has been years since it happened and it is ridiculous to keep bringing it up. Now as annoying as that is I hate the churches who dwell on like it was completely the white man's fault and that they should be reprimanded for what happened.
First off, it was not as if the white man surprise attacked Africa and stole the people. They went there civilly and BOUGHT the people from the kings of the nation. Yes, bought. The black man sold each other out. Now people could say, "Oh the kings were unaware of this." But GET REAL. The kings knew exactly what was going on. They may not have known what would happen to the people when they arrived in America, but even if they did NOT they are still fully held accountable for their actions.
In addition, I do not like how black churches rise up and say the black man needs restitution from the white man. Let's get very real again. Jesus Christ was beaten to a bloody pulp. So distorted and torn that he did not even take on a human form. He literally had his facial hair ripped out, probably taking a chunk or flesh from his face. A crown of thorns was impressed upon his head also tearing the flesh on his head and touching his skull. After all, of that he was forced to carry a cross up a hill, while being beaten along the way. Until he had fallen and someone had to help him. After carrying his OWN cross. He willingly lay down and had his hands and feet nailed to a cross. As he hung there, he had to press himself up in order to breath-because when you die on a cross it is because of asphyxiation. So not only was he pushing up his own weight. He was pushing up the weight and the sin of ALL mankind-past, present, and future-on him. And never one time did he curse a single soul. Never one time did he say you will be damned for what you have done to me. Never one time did he even wish any bad thing against them. All he said was, "Father forgive them, they don't know what they are doing."
So how dare you carry a grudge so long and put God's name on that! How dare you forget the same God you serve is the God who went through torture worse than slavery and overcome for both you and white people. How dare you!
I am not stating that it needs to be forgotten I am just stating that it should be reverenced and not held as a judgement.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Who Am I That YOU Are Mindful of Me?
DISCLAIMER: I wrote this essay for my English class. The topic was who am I. Usually I never share my essays, but this is more than an essay for me. It is my testimony. I pray it blesses you.
I spent hours pondering how to write this essay. I sat in Starbucks deliberating the different angles to fully and completely define myself. Eventually, I drove to church searching for clarity. There I found who I am.
“I am nothing. Yet, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our Potter, and we all are the work of Your hand” (Isaiah 64:8). I have tried to define myself according to man’s standards of thinking and it was tiresome and frustrating. I sat at the altar and sought God for an answer. After ten minutes, He inspired me with the thought that I was nothing until I met Him. He reminded me of who I was. He revealed to me who I am.
Now allow me to preface what you are about to read with this statement: I am not perfect. I do not claim and will never claim perfection. In fact, I do not believe that one aspect of my life is perfect, but that is the joy of Christianity. God is not looking for perfection; He is looking for progression. He is looking for willing hearts and complete surrender. He wants nothing more than for people to come to Him as they are, and allow Him to mold them and make them into who He is. Is it hard? Yes. Is it painful? Yes. Is it trying? Yes. With all of that, it is the most liberating and exhilarating experience in life. To know who I am because I am a part of something much greater than myself is a feat that leaves me speechless.
“Who am I that you are mindful of me?” (Psalm 8: 4) Inhabiting the earth at this time there is an estimated 6,727,094,555 people. In the United States of America, there are 301,139,947 people. In the state of Georgia, the population is 9,363,941. Atlanta has 429,500 living in the city. At Georgia State alone, there are 21,291 students. I am one of them. To most people I am just a breathing pile of mass, an obstruction to someone’s view, and at most a face in the crowd. With this in mind, why would anyone take the time to listen to me? Many other people are smarter, funnier, and kinder than I am. I am not a leader of the world, nor am I a high-powered celebrity-not as if they have anything valuable to say anyway. No one should listen to me. No one should care about what I have to say. In fact, it is no one’s job to be my friend, but God is. I am insignificant. I am an ant in the world colony, but knowing someone listens and cares is beautiful. I am minded.” Know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself; the Lord will hear when I call to him” (Psalm 4:3).
People are constantly searching for a purpose. People want to find a place. I have searched for a place to be a part of something greater than I am. I joined clubs. I have taken up hobbies. I joined cliques in hopes of fitting in. I was looking for an answer in all the wrong places. I have been going to church since I was a child. I accepted Jesus in my heart. I was in all the Christmas plays. I worked in the nursery. I was the good ol church member. I thought if I went through the motions, I would be a member of the body of Christ. I was partially. It was like a phantom limb. I was there, but I lacked presence. I lacked the actual feeling of God. I did things because I thought that was what I had to do. I know now that being a member of the body of Christ is not just about being involved in ministry. It is about connecting with others in Christ to glorify and edify His name. I am a part of the body of Christ. “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ” (1st Corinthians 12:12).
I am a sinner saved by grace. Born into a world of sin, I have done my part in making the world an awful place. I enjoy doing mean things to people. I like to hurt people’s feelings. People say I have a low self-esteem, but it is not that. I think it is fun to see a little bit of human suffering. For me it is natural to want to lie before I tell the truth. I used to believe it was easier. For years, I would lie about anything big or small, serious or silly; I would lie about it. People now minimize the effects of sin, by calling it a prettier name, but it is what it is and I was wrong for doing it. I lived as if nothing I did was wrong, that sin was pleasure and good was torture. After sometime of living like this, I got heavily involved in pornography. I would visit sites daily and watch the computer screen until my eyes glazed over. I felt something in my spirit telling me it was wrong, but after a while, I learned to mute that voice. I was hungry for something. For a while, porn kept me satisfied, but I wanted more. I had already decided previously to keep my virginity sacred; so sex was not an option. The void that was in me turned into sorrow. I would spend hours at a time crying and weeping wishing for deliverance from living. I began administering physical lacerations on myself. I was doing physically what I felt. It always stopped my crying and put me at ease. I alienated my family out of fear of rejection and took on the role as socially inept, avoiding all forms of communication with others-unless it was an insult. I had hardened myself. I wanted to feel nothing. Not love, not joy, not safety, not anything, but lonesomeness. My life went on like this from seventh grade to tenth grade. Until one day, my mother caught me, in all my sin. She called me out and prayed for me. I did not want her to, but she did, all the time. Two years later, I know I am in a better place. To declare that I never feel lonely would be a lie, but I know God has saved me from myself. I did not deserve salvation. I was a disgrace, but he restored me. He made me better. But go and learn what this means: “I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I [Jesus] have not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Matthew 9:13).
Many may not appreciate this essay, but I know in my heart that I cannot tell anyone who I am and what I have done without telling them about Christ. I have been fearful to, but that is all of who I am. Anything that does not line up with God, I do not want to be.
If you ask someone to describe me one might say, “Tosin Akande is funny, opinionated, passionate, and smart.” However, if you ask me to describe myself I will say, “I am minded. I am a sinner saved by grace. I am nothing. I am a part of the body of Christ. And most importantly I am a child of the King.” For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that I am a child of God, and if a child, then an heir— a heir of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed I suffer with Him, that I may also be glorified together” (Romans 8:15-17).
I spent hours pondering how to write this essay. I sat in Starbucks deliberating the different angles to fully and completely define myself. Eventually, I drove to church searching for clarity. There I found who I am.
“I am nothing. Yet, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our Potter, and we all are the work of Your hand” (Isaiah 64:8). I have tried to define myself according to man’s standards of thinking and it was tiresome and frustrating. I sat at the altar and sought God for an answer. After ten minutes, He inspired me with the thought that I was nothing until I met Him. He reminded me of who I was. He revealed to me who I am.
Now allow me to preface what you are about to read with this statement: I am not perfect. I do not claim and will never claim perfection. In fact, I do not believe that one aspect of my life is perfect, but that is the joy of Christianity. God is not looking for perfection; He is looking for progression. He is looking for willing hearts and complete surrender. He wants nothing more than for people to come to Him as they are, and allow Him to mold them and make them into who He is. Is it hard? Yes. Is it painful? Yes. Is it trying? Yes. With all of that, it is the most liberating and exhilarating experience in life. To know who I am because I am a part of something much greater than myself is a feat that leaves me speechless.
“Who am I that you are mindful of me?” (Psalm 8: 4) Inhabiting the earth at this time there is an estimated 6,727,094,555 people. In the United States of America, there are 301,139,947 people. In the state of Georgia, the population is 9,363,941. Atlanta has 429,500 living in the city. At Georgia State alone, there are 21,291 students. I am one of them. To most people I am just a breathing pile of mass, an obstruction to someone’s view, and at most a face in the crowd. With this in mind, why would anyone take the time to listen to me? Many other people are smarter, funnier, and kinder than I am. I am not a leader of the world, nor am I a high-powered celebrity-not as if they have anything valuable to say anyway. No one should listen to me. No one should care about what I have to say. In fact, it is no one’s job to be my friend, but God is. I am insignificant. I am an ant in the world colony, but knowing someone listens and cares is beautiful. I am minded.” Know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself; the Lord will hear when I call to him” (Psalm 4:3).
People are constantly searching for a purpose. People want to find a place. I have searched for a place to be a part of something greater than I am. I joined clubs. I have taken up hobbies. I joined cliques in hopes of fitting in. I was looking for an answer in all the wrong places. I have been going to church since I was a child. I accepted Jesus in my heart. I was in all the Christmas plays. I worked in the nursery. I was the good ol church member. I thought if I went through the motions, I would be a member of the body of Christ. I was partially. It was like a phantom limb. I was there, but I lacked presence. I lacked the actual feeling of God. I did things because I thought that was what I had to do. I know now that being a member of the body of Christ is not just about being involved in ministry. It is about connecting with others in Christ to glorify and edify His name. I am a part of the body of Christ. “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ” (1st Corinthians 12:12).
I am a sinner saved by grace. Born into a world of sin, I have done my part in making the world an awful place. I enjoy doing mean things to people. I like to hurt people’s feelings. People say I have a low self-esteem, but it is not that. I think it is fun to see a little bit of human suffering. For me it is natural to want to lie before I tell the truth. I used to believe it was easier. For years, I would lie about anything big or small, serious or silly; I would lie about it. People now minimize the effects of sin, by calling it a prettier name, but it is what it is and I was wrong for doing it. I lived as if nothing I did was wrong, that sin was pleasure and good was torture. After sometime of living like this, I got heavily involved in pornography. I would visit sites daily and watch the computer screen until my eyes glazed over. I felt something in my spirit telling me it was wrong, but after a while, I learned to mute that voice. I was hungry for something. For a while, porn kept me satisfied, but I wanted more. I had already decided previously to keep my virginity sacred; so sex was not an option. The void that was in me turned into sorrow. I would spend hours at a time crying and weeping wishing for deliverance from living. I began administering physical lacerations on myself. I was doing physically what I felt. It always stopped my crying and put me at ease. I alienated my family out of fear of rejection and took on the role as socially inept, avoiding all forms of communication with others-unless it was an insult. I had hardened myself. I wanted to feel nothing. Not love, not joy, not safety, not anything, but lonesomeness. My life went on like this from seventh grade to tenth grade. Until one day, my mother caught me, in all my sin. She called me out and prayed for me. I did not want her to, but she did, all the time. Two years later, I know I am in a better place. To declare that I never feel lonely would be a lie, but I know God has saved me from myself. I did not deserve salvation. I was a disgrace, but he restored me. He made me better. But go and learn what this means: “I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I [Jesus] have not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Matthew 9:13).
Many may not appreciate this essay, but I know in my heart that I cannot tell anyone who I am and what I have done without telling them about Christ. I have been fearful to, but that is all of who I am. Anything that does not line up with God, I do not want to be.
If you ask someone to describe me one might say, “Tosin Akande is funny, opinionated, passionate, and smart.” However, if you ask me to describe myself I will say, “I am minded. I am a sinner saved by grace. I am nothing. I am a part of the body of Christ. And most importantly I am a child of the King.” For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that I am a child of God, and if a child, then an heir— a heir of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed I suffer with Him, that I may also be glorified together” (Romans 8:15-17).
Sunday, November 9, 2008
The Ways of the....
Lately I have come to see that I have made Christianity this self absorbed ministry for my own personal gain. Praying self seeking prayers such as, "God please hurt that person such as they have hurt me." or, "God help me loose wait in time for so and so." Anyways they are just really self centered prayers.
So I thought what if people just prayed the will of the Father? After all He holds the entire world in His hands. I believe people are confused about the earth doing God's will. God is a gentleman. He would never force His will upon us nor would He impose His own desires. That is why as Christians it is best to ask God's will. BUT Christians do not do that. Sometimes God's will and man's will do not coincide. So man will do his own will and then try and stamp God's name on it-so no one will question it. The sad thing is that it is easy to see when a man's ways do not line up with God. It will contradict the Bible.
All I pray now is, "Dear Lord, let your will be done through me. Use me as a vessel. I love you for all you do and all you have done. Bless and prosper those around me. And PLEASE let people see your glory. Reveal to them who you are. In Jesus name. Amen and Amen."
So I thought what if people just prayed the will of the Father? After all He holds the entire world in His hands. I believe people are confused about the earth doing God's will. God is a gentleman. He would never force His will upon us nor would He impose His own desires. That is why as Christians it is best to ask God's will. BUT Christians do not do that. Sometimes God's will and man's will do not coincide. So man will do his own will and then try and stamp God's name on it-so no one will question it. The sad thing is that it is easy to see when a man's ways do not line up with God. It will contradict the Bible.
All I pray now is, "Dear Lord, let your will be done through me. Use me as a vessel. I love you for all you do and all you have done. Bless and prosper those around me. And PLEASE let people see your glory. Reveal to them who you are. In Jesus name. Amen and Amen."
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